What Ted Lasso Taught Me About Life
This post started out as a rant about how comparison is a thief that steals your joy. Then it was about education and how every member of all involved somehow thinks they are the one getting the raw end of the deal. Then I deleted all of it and decided to write about something that has brought me happiness this week. Well, I should say this day because I watched the whole series in one day minus the first episode which I watched on an American Airlines airplane coming home from Arizona for spring break.
These past few weeks, I have been thinking about my life and my future as some of us find ourselves doing on any type of vacation or break. I wondered if I am where I am supposed to be and if there is a next step I haven’t seen. An open door I am missing or a closed door I am trying to push. I thought about my writing and I have come to the realization that I not only write for a particular audience, I completely change my attitude, facial expressions, and word choice depending on my audience and while that is okay and expected to a point, I am tired of living in the land of the “should.” Now, while I actually think I coined that phrase, “Stop Shoulding on Me!” (merch coming soon), a few books are coming out about it and I think it is because it is finally sinking on that people are different and THAT IS OKAY!
But, back to Ted Lasso…If you have not seen the show, just know ahead of time that there may be a salty word or two or fourteen an episode. If that ain’t your thing, don’t watch it. I overlooked it for the beauty of this show. Being a literature teacher, I can appreciate the changing storylines and transforming characters and I could analyze what conflict really is at play in each scene - whether it is man vs. man or man vs. self in each one, and give you an essay about that.
Instead, I am going to tell you what it taught me:
You can celebrate even if you lose.
Ted Lasso is a football coach who comes to London to coach soccer. Spoiler alert: The team Lasso coaches loses a game and they have a birthday party after the game for a player that is missing his home and family and it is a beautiful thing. Then one guy tries to ruin it all, but the point of it is, life is going to stink sometimes and you can either complain about it all over social media, yell at your kids, give your spouse the cold shoulder, or you can scream into a pillow and then dance. When this team chose to dance, that birthday boy felt celebrated and part of a team. Sometimes the more we focus on what is wrong, the more attention we are giving to our pain and the less power we feel to get healing or change.
Ask questions
Another spoiler alert: In one of the best episodes, Lasso is playing darts with a guy who is the antagonist and he challenges Lasso to a dart match. Lasso agrees and the guy sneakily says, “Oh, I forgot I brought my own dart set!” demonstrating how good he is going to be. Lasso comes back with, ”Oh, I forgot I was left handed!” and using his left hand instead of his right which he had been using up to that point, whips the dart into the bullseye. And Lasso proceeds to tell the story about how important it is to ask questions. So, in life, ask the questions. Ask the hard questions. Ask the common questions. Don’t ignore someone when they say their day is “so-so.” Ask your kid about what coach said. Ask them to tell you more about where they are going instead of just “out.” Ask your friends how they are doing and then ask again how they are really doing. Find out more about others than talking about yourself.
Sometimes you have to let go of the dream.
This doesn’t sound happy and it is in direct contradiction to a world that tells you to dream big and you can be anything you want anytime you want it. Lasso actually had to let go of a relationship that he wanted to work. A captain had to let go of his leadership title. In both cases, the choice was made for them, but it was how they were going to respond that created their character. You are not always going to get the dream you want or that perfect guy with the shiny ring. You are not always going to get that book deal or land the most fulfilling job. You may have to move in with you parents. You might have to go to your second choice college. And yet, Lasso teaches us that letting go is not giving up. It is realizing that whether it is timing, something better is in store, or just growth that needs to happen, letting go is not giving up. Sometimes letting go is the first step in finding what you want and who you really are meant to be.
These are just a few lessons for season one and I cannot wait for season two to come out. This is really just a snippet. I could go into the lessons of friendship, and consistency, and biscuits in the morning, but some you will have to find out for yourself. Watch it. Or don’t.
I won’t should on you like that.